Can you please grade my essay?
Give and You Shall Receive The entire world is in an economic recession, and each country has felt the devastating effects. Here in America, money has become tighter, jobs fewer, and food prices have gone up considerably. However, as citizens of an astoundingly wealthy, industrialized nation, if we believe that our current situation is disappointingly inopportune, then we would be greatly mistaken. Not only would we be mistaken, we would also be extremely foolish to lament over our petty woes when millions of people in Africa and Asia live--and often die-- in a state of perpetual poverty, under deplorable conditions. Some countries are stupendously rich and others horrendously poor.. Despite this, hope still remains, and it is for that very reason that wealthy, industrialized nations should adopt a policy in which they use a variety of methods to share their wealth with the undeveloped world, a policy from which there could be many beneficiaries. According to the MilleniumProject commissioned by the United Nations, four billion people live in poverty. Malaria and pneumonia, two diseases that are widely eradicated and completely preventable, seem to travel with the wind in places like Africa and Asia, killing millions each year. Moreover, (according to the UN) eight hundred million people go to bed hungry every night, unsure as to whether they will live to see another sunrise, but knowing that if they do, there still will not be any food. Amid all of this suffering, those who are fortunate enough to pick up a spoon at dinnertime should not find it hard to reach within their hearts to help those in dire need. By trading with those countries who have this dire need, we wealthy nations can jumpstart foreign economies, as well as give food, medicine, and peace of mind to those who need it most. It is said that if one gives, then he or she receives. Similarly, if a government is generous and munificent, it receives things in return. Many developing countries show economic promise, and are looking like eligible to be future trade partners that can provide bona fide investment opportunities. For example, if the United States were to invest in Africa, a continent which most unknowingly consider an investment wasteland, the paybacks could be gargantuan. In reality, Africa is an investment wasteland no longer. In fact, the AT Kearney 2007 Foreign Direct Investment (FDI) Confidence Index ranks fifteen emerging markets in Africa among the top twenty-five investment market destinations in the world. It is within those emerging markets where there is money to be made; between 1990 and 2005 private capital flows in ninety-four emerging markets rose from twenty five to three hundred billion dollars. However, careful planning is required to make certain that capital is not intercepted by corrupt heads of state and the like. Trade and aid should be reserved for those governments that exhibit democratic behavior. Besides facilitating money flow, sharing wealth would assist America in restoring its global reputation, and simultaneously give us allies for the future. “America cannot meet the threats of this century alone, and the world cannot meet them without America. We can neither retreat from the world nor try to bully it into submission. We must lead the world, by deed and by example,†says President Barack Obama. Therefore, we should reach out to the developing world now, so that in the future, complex issues, such as climate change, can be easily addressed. Giving financial aid should not only be viewed as humanitarianism, but also as a long-overdue act of penance for Imperialism. During the Age of Imperialism Western nations bombarded vulnerable nations with military might and injected them with their cultural needle. By doing so, the imperialistic nations, many of which remain world powers, put the native peoples under oppressive conditions and exploited their lands for natural resources. Even today, in this first decade of the twenty-first century, some African countries have barely begun to throw off the shackles that Imperialism placed on them and their economies. For example, in 1913 England possessed colonies such as modern-day South Africa, Egypt, Sudan, and Nigeria. Today, according to a 2008 list compiled by the Central Intelligence Agency, England’s Gross Domestic Product (GDP) is two trillion seven hundred and eighty seven billion dollars, while the average GDP of its former colonies listed above is a mere seven percent of that. Still, there are those who would scoff at these numbers, and reason that they are a fateful result of the inability of dysfunctional governments to provide for their citizens. It would not hurt those who hold this belief take a look at Walter Rodney’s 1973 novel How Europe Underdeveloped Africa, in which he states, “ When two societies of different sorts come into prolonged and effective contact, the rate and character of change taking place in both is serious
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i think about 90. its pretty good. what i would do in the 2nd paragraph though is cite your information (and especially if it is a quote) and the beginning of the 3rd paragraph i would change it to " It is said that if one gives, then one receives" other than that its very good essay. thoroughly detailed.
